Panic

There are, you know, two types of everything.
So there is, two types of pain.
There is a physical pain.
There is a mental pain.
What if both the pains culminate in one person at a same time?

Okay, Imagine.
Having,
a severe stomach ache or tooth ache. Severe. Bitter.
and a pain of brother's death or unrequited love. Deep rooted. Bloody.
Now, mix both the pains. Assume both of then gradually feeding each other.
Rising and growing second by second within you.

Then, add some element of fear. Fear.. like.. lets say, a thought that you are going to have to bear this killing pain for long. Really long. Fear that there is no salvation, no redemption. God is not listening or looking.

Then, add a situation of being lonesome. Without friend. Without phone, cellphone, internet, neighbours. Without drug or medicine or alcohol. No sleep. No candle. No light. No telepathy.

What would you feel ?

More.. assume going through such a bad cycle often. Often ? Okay, take frequency of once a month as my ballpark.

What would you do ? Think.

[I walk. I write. I read. I breath. I sigh. I clench my fists. I look up in the sky and pray. I hug myself.]