I came face-to-face with core of finance for the first time, first it overwhelmed then it charmed me. It was humbling experience to study finance under Prof. Sanjiv Barve. Third semester was almost like an end of MBA, yet we completed the fourth and the last semester successfully. Placement scene was ugliest. I cared rat's ass for placement and helped Saurabh with idea of Rock Tapari, a virtual Tapari. Unfortunately, it is on back burner now, to say it most optimistically.
on 1st of May life was on brink, instead of studying for the exam, Chandan and I went to Virar in possibility of finding 'T' red handed. I was calmed somehow and on 4th of May, I wrote my last paper of MBA. On 6th of May Chandan and on 8th May Kapil left for their respective hometowns. In the evening of the day Kapil left, 'T' told on my face, that he intends to leave cancelling out the past of three years. This was happening at a time when I was alone without family, friends, college, and work and it was difficult to survive. I also indulged in self-flagellation. A continuous, open, long conversations with Chandan, Kapil and Chandranshu kept me sane, I am thankful to them.
I think it was October, when took my first tangible step to move on. In the idle six months, I freely read, watched classic movies,explored music, roamed around in the city. It was overall a good life. I have been mostly reclusive, silent, barefaced and ego centric barring few incidents of bursts. I can say this is the year when I saw unlimited shades of sorrow, and realised the meaning and value of words "Happy" and "Good". I now think I understand broader spectrum of emotions. I now understand the difference between factuality and truth. Now a days, few say I am quiet and few say I am very intense. Now I know, my idiosyncrasies, follies, fears and strengths better than I ever knew.
There is a lot that remains to be done. There is even a lot more that remains to be learnt and understood. And I really want to do it. Today, I cease to look for a companion. I accept, it is my own journey which is to be completed all by myself, to feel contended in the end. It is my hope. Dates mark a start and end of a year. This is first time that I am happy for a year end. I am also purposely ending my one phase of life, to start the next, where aim will be to walk joyfully on a path without craving for another soul to keep me company.
I am fond of telling stories, I have always been, only few know. I hope I will tell a happy and interesting story at end of the path, a story of honesty, hard work and struggle, of hope against despair and of desire against fears. A story by a person who is no scum or a loser. Recently, I have met a person who sounds similar to me, and I feel like somehow thanking him, So I thank Bharath.
